How can I help a friend or family member who was raped?

Like domestic violence, sexual assault can sometimes impact more than just the victim. You may find yourself feeling angry, sad, and helpless – just like the victim, even though you didn’t have anything to do with the assault. Your support of someone through this time can be significant, however. You want to find ways to be supportive and still take care of your own needs, too. 

Sexual assault can be a shattering experience from which victims do not quickly recover. Acceptance plays a big part in recovery and healing may take many months, even years for some. Your regard, attention and validation will all be important to help someone through the aftermath and healing of these events. 

Here are some suggestions of ways you can help:

• Support her.  She may have a range of emotions and feelings about her assault.  Be there to listen to her.  It may take time for her to heal.
• Believe her.  Know that she is not to blame for the assault.  The perpetrator is responsible for his actions.
• Help her find resources, support, and options. Your local Community Sexual Assault Program can provide help to both of you.
• Encourage her to seek medical attention. Your local hospital or emergency room can treat her for injuries and sexually transmitted diseases, provide her with access to emergency contraception, and can preserve physical evidence in a rape kit exam.